• Westish Contributor

Ten Things You Can Imagine Doing in Denver This Weekend

By Kira MagCalen Eager citizens might see the upcoming warm weather as an invitation to venture back into the world but many of us are still advised to remain at home. Even with the itch to explore the new sunny weather, concerts are still postponed and bars and restaurants will be shuttered for a while. But even if you can’t hang out with your friends in our beautiful city, don’t despair; loneliness is just an excuse to use your imagination! (as my imaginary friends always used to say, adding quietly, “Please keep using your imagination. I don’t want to die.”) Instead, close your eyes, cuddle up in the fort you have made out of blankets and freshly baked bread, and imagine these ten things you could be doing in Denver this weekend. 10. Wait in Line at a Brewery Bathroom You’re not even sure you’re supposed to be using the bathroom that has some two triangles playing volleyball as the symbol, but you’ve been in this line too long to quit now. Denver’s diverse brewing scene has given us some of the best craft beer in the country, which in the summer translated to a lot of lines. You may have started this crisis in a toilet paper drought, but soothe your soul by thinking about how bad it could be crouched over an unfamiliar toilet seat, working up the nerve to ask your stall mate for a single ply. 09. Karaoke at Your Favorite Dive Nothing really solidifies your friendships like going to that special hole in the wall, arriving right after a Bachelorette party has already signed up, and waiting until one in the morning when you’re too drunk to know what your song was. And if you’re really hankering for the real thing, Invite your friends to a video chat and see if you can get that lyric video for Don’t Stop Believing to sync up for the five of you. Sure, your neighbors will put you on the list of acceptable people to eat when shit hits the fan, but the camaraderie will be well worth it. 08. Pet a Random Dog It’s important self care to get your exercise. While social distancing etiquette frowns upon rubbing your grubby, germ infested mitts all over someone else’s adorable, puffy white Samoyed, you can’t help but admit he’s a good boy, a very, very good boy! At least you can close your eyes and imagine grabbing his chubby cheeks and rubbing that fluffy tummy. 07. Crash a Pedal Bar on a Work Happy Hour Remember team building? It was like a Zoom Happy Hour but with higher expectations. Now that your work week is coming to a close, imagine what Rhonda the overly ambitious HR person had cooked over for you and your team; an activity combining social interaction AND physical activity! A couple hours thinking about that and you might find yourself appreciating all your new found favorite TV shows. 06. Drop Acid at a Red Rocks Show and Fail at Stairs Some of the best bands in around the world have graced the gorgeous Red Rocks Amphitheater. This weekend would have seen the return of groovy hippie tunes and the reunion of Die Antwoord. Heading out to the show isn’t gonna happen, but nothing’s preventing you from doing drugs in your living room, cranking up the stair master and seeing where the night takes you. 05. Take Two Different Dates to the same bar that’s Close to Your House Because Lyft gets Expensive. Denver has a great walk score and vibrant dating scene, but sometimes you just want to hit the favorite watering hole. See who’s more impressed by the fact that Kerouac used to hang out at Charlie Brown’s, or who enjoys your weird history knowledge that you’ve picked up from day drinking and following ghost tours around Cap Hill. Romance might be six feet apart, but it’s not dead! 04. Enjoy Modern Art Denver’s rich arts and culture scene meant finding new and exciting work was easier than ever, except when all the doors are locked. Thankfully, cultural institutions have found ways to make their online collections accessible, so you can scroll through them from the comfort of your bathroom, which we all know is where our most passionate judgments arise. 03. Axe Throwing Denver’s hottest entertainment trend seems to be at a screeching halt now that we’re not allowed to touch anything. But you have to admit, holding a honking piece of metal and flinging it at a target seems like it would do wonders for our mental health right now. 02. Soak Up an Ungodly Amount of Booze at Pete’s Kitchen at 3 A.M. It’s tough to find good people watching when you’re stuck at home, but tighten up those eyelids and think about the bedraggled carousel of drunks that wandered through the hallowed 24 Hour Diner on Colfax. Even Netflix can’t bring you the harrowing saga of the slurring woman in a cheetah print tube top, the paramedics who had to be part doctor, part hostage negotiator to get her out, and the waitress who had to process how much it would suck to have that table and not get tipped. 01. Escape Room Nothing says Denver like an ironic, dumb activity to be shared among friends. It would be just like quarantine, but expensive! Relieve your cabin fever by visiting an escape room: the tinier the better! This time has undoubtedly given you some savvy problem solving skills. Even if you can’t go in person, you could fill your tiny studio apartment with clues, call your bestie and see if they can talk you through the panic attack you might be having in your broom closet. It may be difficult to feel like you’re thriving right now, but having things to look forward to can do wonders for your mental health, whether those activities are real or not. Remember, we’re all alone together, but with the power of imagination, we don’t have to feel alone tonight.

Kira MagCalen is a comedian, artist and tiny monster from Denver Colorado. Currently she runs the blog Turbulent Flow and might be standing right behind you.

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