Polis Rolls Back Safer at Home to "Maybe Stay at Home, Please?"
Updated: May 7, 2020
By Hannah Jones On April 26th, Governor Jared Polis replaced Colorado's existing Stay at Home order with a new “Safer at Home” phase, which quickly became a controversial choice as the loosening of strict social distancing measures coincided with an explosion of new cases of COVID-19 in the state. Now, the governor is determined to get just a little more likable. The new “Maybe Stay at Home, Please?” order changes key features of enforcement. Now, restaurants and bars violating the take out and delivery only policies will be issued a strong scolding, and a few days of the silent treatment. In addition, folks hosting illegal gatherings of 10 or more people will be asked “hey, what gives?” and subjected to the full force of the law with respect to pitying glances and whispers of “well, she’s going through a lot right now…” Governor Polis hopes this new phase of regulations will be a comforting approach to stemming the coronavirus crisis, but not everyone agrees. We talked to health care workers on the front line of the pandemic who expressed concern over the lack of seriousness taken in social distancing. In addition, more than one medical professional voiced curiosity that Polis is able to maintain a rigid posture without a spine.
Hannah is a stand up comedian, writer, and improvisor based in Denver, Colorado. She is the editor in chief of Westish News and performs weekly on the improv team Barkley. You can find her writing in Apt, Split Lip, Atlantis, and more.