Opinion: Transplants Are Ruining the Denver That I Loved When I Moved Here in 2012.
There is a big problem in Denver. Bigger than the humanity of our homeless population. Bigger than police brutality towards our black and brown citizens. I’m aware of that stuff because I see it happening every day from my apartment overlooking Cheeseman. I mean, yeah, those suck but actually, the biggest plight facing our great city is that people moved here after I moved here and how they’re ruining everything. I even have this super original name for them: transplants.
Transplants are the reason that the interstate is jacked up at all hours of the day. 1-25 was nothing like that when I moved here in 2012. It used to take me 25 minutes tops to get to IKEA and now it can take up to 40 minutes. It’s unimaginable.
The lack of culture these transplants possess is astounding. The other day, this girl at work asked if I had been to the Cherry Cricket and I was like which one and she was like what do you mean and I was like there are two locations and she was like oh I didn’t know that. How ignorant can one person be?
Transplants have no respect for Denver’s past. These days, the new people that move to town don’t even remember the old Mile High Stadium. I mean, I don’t either, but at least I knew about the old one, and I definitely remember people discussing the old Mile High Stadium more and now they don’t. They don’t even care about our town’s history. It’s sad.
What has happened to the Rockies Opening Day is a travesty. As a die hard Rockies fan, I try to black out at Coors Field at least five times a summer, and I never miss opening day. For the past few years, I’ve seen people who are comfortable blacking out at the View House; they don’t even make it inside the stadium. They don’t even have a Rocktober shirt they stole from their ex who grew up here. What is happening to our city?
I, for one, can’t take this for one more second. Unless real Denverites (like me) stand up to these insidious transplants, we will lose our douchey way of life as we know it. We must stand up to these interlopers and by suggesting they move to Boulder.
Kate is a Comic from Durango, Colorado that misses Denver every day. She is the 2018 winner of the Four Corners Next Best Comic Competition and the loser of Comedian's Power Hour, but that's a drinking contest so don't feel bad for her. She loves good wine and thinks Joe Rogan is the devil.