• Westish Contributor

LoHi 25 Year Old Misses Luxury Condo While Trapped in Parent’s Mansion

By Brad Galli Chelsea Dupont has been soops depressed. The 25 year old fashion blogger and part time hostess who normally lives in the LoHi neighborhood of Denver, has been forced to spend the past seven weeks in her parent’s 6,000 square foot mansion in Oak Brook, Illinois. “This whole self-isolation thing is really putting me on edge” said Dupont as she nibbled on some avocado toast during our Zoom chat last week. “I didn’t want to even come here in the first place, but when all this virus jazz started my parent’s thought our mansion would be safer than my luxury condo.” Dupont’s lease was also up at the end of April and her father Carlton Dupont, a prominent Chicago financial executive told us over the phone that he did not want to cosign on another lease for his CU graduate daughter. “It was $2,500 a month I was paying so she could write about high-waisted jeans in that hippy cesspool of a city,” said the 64 year old. “Yeah sure, her blog got a lot of traffic, but that stuff doesn’t pay the bills. You know what pays the bills? Robbing people out of their pensions. That’s good, honest American work.” Chelsea says that her parent’s mansion's in-home gym, swimming pool, live-in maid, home theatre, sauna, tanning bed, and sensory deprivation chamber have made her transition a little easier. “All that stuff is pretty clutch I guess, but it just doesn’t compare to my cute little condo right in the middle of Denver’s most presh neighborhood. I would get up every morning around 11:50 AM and then go get a seven dollar latte from the coffee shop across the street. Things were so simple in February.” The building Dupont’s luxury condo was in was built in 2017 after the development company GentriFLY demolished 12 beautiful old Denver homes that typically provided housing for lower-middle-class families for over 60 years in Denver. We asked Dupont if she felt guilty about living in a building that was built under those circumstances. “Why would I feel bad about anything ever,” replied the self-proclaimed “Boss B****.” Dupont doesn’t miss everything about Denver though. “Obviously I loved my condo, all of my friends in the fashion scene, and that one hike I went on in 2018 but Denver was getting kind of sketch honestly. Back in like November there were three homeless people sleeping on the sidewalk across from my condo…. I mean, ewwww.” Despite the icky homeless people, Dupont still plans on moving back to Denver once the Coronavirus Pandemic is over. “Homeless people are pretty yuck, and they smell like really, really bad but I still love Denver. LoHi was honestly getting a little played out so I’ll probably just try and get a studio apartment in RiNo. I don’t mind roughing it a little bit. We all have to make sacrifices right now.”

Brad Galli is comedian, foodrunner and baseball enthusiast based in Denver, CO. He hosts and produces a comedy show called Study Hall the last Wednesday of every month at Call To Arms Brewing

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