“It’s Pretty Shitty, Actually” Replaces “It’s All Good” in Colorado Vernacular
Increasing mandates, event cancellations, and business closures, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, are making many Coloradans reconsider using the familiar phrase, “It’s all good” as a standard response.
“Red Rocks shows started getting canceled, and I had tickets to Cheese,” said Jerrey Murphey, who is credited with starting the reaction rebellion. “Then my friend told me GABF wasn’t happening, and I just lost it right there. My 2020 was ruined, and he has the nerve to say, ‘It’s all good.’ I snapped, and ‘It’s pretty shitty, actually’ just came out.”
“I was standing outside Mutiny, getting my coffee, wearing my mask, and this guy shows up behind me, and he’s easily five feet behind me,” said Troy Bonforte, “He had the audacity to say, ‘I’m sorry, I need to step back a bit.’ Normally, I would just say, ‘It’s all good,’ but not today. I said, ‘It’s not all good, dude. It’s pretty shitty, actually.’ It was a very freeing feeling.”
CU-Boulder linguistics professor Sue Schwer is monitoring the use of the phrase, and admits to being “shocked” by her findings. “It’s incredible how quickly ‘It’s all good’ left the verbal consciousness of our state,” she said. “Use of ‘It’s pretty shitty, actually’ has even surpassed ‘yeah it is,’ so it’s a pretty remarkable trend.”
“It’s not ‘all good’ when there are no more Old Dirty Bastards at Voodoo,” said Karen (who adamantly refused to give her last name). “That reaction is so 2019, and I told the manager I don’t want a fucking Dirt doughnut, as a substitute!”
Dr. Schwer believes the state will eventually remember the optimistic phrase of “It’s all good,” but will first go through a period of impartial phrasing.
“We’ve been hit hard here,” she admitted. “It wouldn’t surprise me if we go through a lengthy period of ‘meh,’ followed by ‘It’s ok, I guess’.”