• Westish Contributor

Frontier Airlines Requires Face Masks; Counts Them as Personal Item

By Steve Vanderploeg

Beginning Friday, May 8th, Denver based, ultra low-cost airline Frontier will require every passenger to wear a mask, but with a catch - it counts as your one allotted personal item. As a safety precaution, most airlines are beginning to require masks on all flights, but Frontier is the only airline charging more for people who actually have them. In a recent press conference, Frontier spokesperson Jack Olope, explained why: “Listen, we're a discount airline. Right now we're only charging $11 a ticket. Even with everything going on, that’s still way cheaper than a gallon of gasoline for your car, so we’ve got to try and squeeze every penny out of our customers possible in order to stay in business. Since your mask has to ride, we wont charge you for it. But, ounce by ounce, masks make our planes weigh more, which means more fuel to fly, which means more money spend on our end, so even though your mask totally flies for free, we’re gonna charge you an extra $40 for your backpack which you’ve stuffed a week’s worth of clothes into. Don’t have a mask? We’ll give you one at the gate, for your safety and our money. You don’t have a choice. What are you gonna fly, Spirit Airlines? I didn’t think so. Fly with us, or don’t - we’ve never given a damn!” Westish News recently reached out to Mr. Olope for an interview regarding any other extra charges that may be coming to our customers. He responded “Oh they’re coming. Just you wait,” but declined any further commentary.

Steve Vanderploeg is a stand-up comedian based in Denver, Colorado where he is a regular at Comedy Works, and creator of Rotating Tap Comedy.

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