• Westish Contributor

Every Denver Neighborhood Ranked by Likelihood to Ignore Mask Ordinance

By Edward Bell With Denver restrictions loosening, many of the area residents are eager to break their quarantine and venture out into the surrounding neighborhood. An indefinite mask order has been put in place requiring all citizens over the age of two to wear a homemade face mask while in public spaces such as bus stops, retail stores, and healthcare facilities. Despite the mandate many citizens have elected to ignore the requirement. “I don’t have to wear a mask when I am in my own vehicle. I don’t have a car, so a lime scooter is my vehicle. If other people touch the same scooter as me, I don’t see how that is my problem,” said Ricky Scott, an entrepreneur who lives in the RiNo District. “I’m not twenty-six yet, so I am still on my parents health insurance. It's fine.” Many other neighborhoods are sharing a similar attitude while entering public spaces. We stopped Elizabeth Stevens and her dog outside a grocery store in Capitol Hill to ask why she was not wearing a mask. “I’m a smoker, so I’m considered a vulnerable population in these trying times. So I appreciate you wearing a mask,” said Stevens. “I tried to wear one but it was way too hard to smoke in that thing and I couldn’t find one to fit my dog.” Below we compiled a comprehensive list ranking each neighborhood in Denver by how likely they were to ignore the mask ordinance. We based each ranking on how many COVID cases each neighborhood currently has, how many people we counted coughing when we drove by, and how willing the residents were to talk to us when we asked. 5. Capitol Hill Capitol Hill’s ripe bohemian vibe means there is no shortage of thirty-somethings sporting ill groomed quarantine beards. With a new beard, comes a new sense of entitlement meaning you are likely to spot many hairy faces uninhibited by masks lingering at the bus stops. 4. LoDo With no sports to entertain Denver’s oldest neighborhood, LoDo, residents have discovered that it's much easier to drink away your newly found free time if you are not sporting a face covering. 3. RiNo Boasting some of the best street art in the city, most residents of the RiNo neighborhood have chosen to forgo a facemask in fear of being mistaken for a graffiti artist. 2. The Highlands Being one of Denver’s most bikeable neighborhoods means most of the Highlands residents have yet to find a face mask that matches their bike helmet. 1. Cherry Creek With its high rate of affluenza and its vibrant shopping scene, Cherry Creek’s many department stores have seen many citizens electing not to wear a face mask in hopes that it may prompt a discussion with your manager. To see a complete list and where your neighborhood ranks, see below:

82 Denver International Airport 81 Barnum West 80 Mar Lee 79 Ruby Hill 78 Sun Valley 76 Valverde 75 Villa Park 74 Westwood 73 Auraria 72 Barnum 71 Athmar Park 70 Marston 69 Harvey Park South 68 Rosedale 67 Overland 66 College View / South Platte 65 Sunnyside 64 Sloan Lake 63 Regis 62 Chaffee Park 61 Northeast Park Hill 60 Montbello 59 Gateway / Green Valley Ranch 58 Whittier 57 Skyland 56 South Park Hill 55 North Park Hill 54 Globeville 53 Five Points 52 Elyria-Swansea 51 Cole 50 Clayton 49 Windsor 48 Washington Virginia Vale 47 Virginia Village 46 Montclair 45 Lowry 44 Indian Creek 43 Hilltop 42 Hale 41 Cory-Merrill 40 Belcaro 39 Union Station 38 Speer 37 North Capitol Hill 36 Lincoln Park 35 Country Club 34 Civic Center 33 City Park West 32 Congress Park 31 Cheesman Park 30 Central Business District 29 Harvey Park 28 Fort Logan 27 Bear Valley 26 Southmoor Park 25 Kennedy 24 Hampden South 23 Hampden 22 Goldsmith 21 Wellshire 20 Washington Park West 19 Washington Park 18 University Park 17 University Hills 16 Platt Park 15 West Highland 14 Berkeley 13 Jefferson Park 12 UpTown 11 Stapleton 10 Baker 9 City Park 8 (tie) East Colfax 9 (tie) West Colfax 7 University 6 Park Hill 5 Capitol Hill 4 LoDo 3 RiNo 2 Highland 1 Cherry Creek

Edward Bell is a stand up comedian who lives in Denver, CO.

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