Depressed City Suddenly Remembers It Decriminalized Mushrooms
With a pandemic, civil unrest, bars closed, and baseball season cancelled, 2020 has been a depressing year for most US cities. Denver found itself in the midst of a particularly low episode as tumbleweeds blew across a completely empty Coors Field on a warm day in July. Just when all hope felt lost, the smell of unwashed hemp ponchos and the sound of shaking bags brought the city back from the brink of darkness.
“How could we forget?” Jill Donahue was locked inside watching the entirety of the Disney+ library when she came across Alice in Wonderland and made a realization. “I’ve been stressing about the apocalyptic reality we’re living in when I could have been chomping on some blue meanies this whole time.”
Donahue referenced a change to Denver law in May of 2019 that decriminalized the use of “magic mushrooms” within the city. Westish caught up with Zed Buschman as he climbed a tree in Cheesman park, tripping on some quality hongos.
“I was real bummed a few weeks ago, but everything’s cool now,” Buschman playfully hollered to reporters in a Kermit the Frog voice. “I don’t know what the future holds, all I know is that this tree’s name is Maurice and he tells me everything I need to hear now that I’m finally listening. Do you hear that? He’s thirsty and dreaming of tea-flavored rain.”
Though 2020 started rough, the formerly depressed members of this city have since filled themselves with a healthy dose of Psilocybin and things seem to be looking up. Even Westish journalists are beginning to notice- have you ever really looked at your hands? I mean REALLY looked at them? Just do it now, I swear, it will change your life. I love you, sweet babies. Let’s write a song and record it in the woods.