Cash Register Building Installs World's Largest Chip Reader
By Nathan Wright Look out Big Blue Bear! There is a new oversized attraction in Downtown Denver that has set the bar PREETTTYYY high up. In order to keep up with evolving times, city ordinances, and security precautions, the Cash Register building located at 1700 Lincoln Street is installing the world’s largest Credit Card Chip Reader! When questioned about the addition, slated for completion in 2020, the inexplicably sentient skyscraper replied “I’m a big business and I have to follow the big boys’ rules. Security regulations at the Wells Fargo Center are of the utmost importance these days. Hard currency is an old mans’ game reserved for corner drugs, pinball machines, chinese massages, half-assed tips at Starbucks, snorting corner drugs, day laborers, Vine Street Pub, wishing wells, dice games, buying round two of corner drugs, and that’s about it.” Blueprints show the new attraction will climb from floors 25 to 37, with rumors of a new Torchys Tacos location inside.
Nathan Wright is your friend of a friend living in Denver who dabbles in music, pinball, and slinging drinks.