• Westish Contributor

Broncos Season Cancelled? Fan Worries They May Have to Develop a Personality

By Cody Ullrich

Rick Turner painted his house orange and blue during the Broncos’ successful run to Superbowl 50. He flies a giant flag from the bed of his truck with the classic “D” logo from the earlier days of the franchise. Westish news sat down with Mr. Turner in the parking lot of the newly named Empower Field at Mile High where he feels most at home to discuss his thoughts on the potential of a fall without Broncos football.

“I can hardly bear thinking about it. I was listening to one of Denver’s fifteen Broncos oriented radio stations today and they mentioned the season may be cancelled,” a visibly stressed Turner told reporters.

Of course, most Denver locals love their Broncos to a healthy degree, but Rick prides himself on his commitment to basing his entire identity around the team.

“I bleed orange and blue!” Turner said, as Westish reporters assured him he did not need to prove it. “What do I have now? What will I talk about on Mondays? Who will I demand be fired if the Broncos never lose a couple close games this year? I’ll need to find a new reason to hate people from Boston and Oakland!”

Turner spoke like a man coming to terms with mortality, experiencing an existential crisis in imagining life without football and what may come after it gets cancelled.

“I’m scared. I’ve spent my whole life avoiding every meaningful or difficult conversation by deflecting to local sports talk. If there’s no season this year, I just don’t know how to cope with the fact that I may need to actually develop a personality,” Rick said before his face turned white. “Oh my god, I may actually have to talk to my family during Thanksgiving this year!”

Rick eventually calmed down and finished his interview with an hour of showing reporters each of his Broncos tattoos, including those that “just need to be colored in”.

Cody Ullrich is a Denver-born writer, comedian, musician, and a proudly obnoxious Broncos fan.

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